A critical look at my childhood works

While poring through some old papers at my grandma’s house a few weeks ago (hi grandma!), I ran across some pieces I had done when I was, oh, around ten. While it was clear that even at that tender age, I showed an interest in typography, but my technical skills were a bit lacking. Let’s take a look and rank my childhood skills:

1. Pepsi logo and slogan

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Decent logo; circle is well done, if a bit crooked on the right there. And the swirl design inside skews a bit to the left. But overall not bad for free hand.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the slogan. Inconsistent capitalization, letters are nowhere close to uniform in either height, width or kerning. And the use of handwriting as opposed to a font just doesn’t work.

4/10

2. Bone

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Uhm. Points for attempting a curved calligraphic…word? I’m unable to remember why I wanted to write the word bone Bone so stylistically, but boy did I. While the use of red on magenta was a bold choice, the fact that the lower-case n is so close in size to the capital B does lower the overall score. Also, that e looks lazy. 

5/10 – I like the mystery (seriously, bone Bone?)

3. SpaceJa[m]

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Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. First of all, spacing. This one is just poorly planned out. However, what is on paper does reflect the source material well enough. Although the poor planning rears its head again in the lower loop of the J overlapping the rings that ought to stay in the background.

Also, the color choice is a bit drab.

3/10 – do better.

4. FILA

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First of all, is FILA still even a thing? [Imaginary editor: yes, they’re still a thing, I looked them up. Their page is a grumpy old man staring out into your soul.]
Well, points for getting your lettering straight without using guidelines. You’ve got promise. However, your screw-up on the A there would have been far less noticeable if you’d have filled in the text instead of leaving it as an outline. Your A should be much more rounded at the top. Also, I can tell where your I started and stopped. Amateur.

6/10

5. 7Up

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First of all, good paper color choice. Finally. Second, you clearly drank too much soda as a kid. Third, again with the sloppy slogan – stop. it. Your 7 is okay, but a bit messy. What happened with the P though? It doesn’t match the slant of the rest of the text, and I’m not even going to touch that weird line-thing. Ugh.

6. Monster (no, not that one).

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Points for creativity, but where did this come from? I mean, there aren’t even any words! If you want to make it in the typography biz, you need to focus, kid. Eesh.

0/10 – ugly, and your lines are shit.

7. Cheez-IT

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Good rendition of actual cheez-its. H leaves a little to be desired. Z is kind of looking drunk. Overall though, not bad.

7/10 – begrudgingly

8. House of Pain [wait…really??]

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Um, okay. House of Pain. Why…? Well, it’s a poor color combination, and you can’t even read it, so you lose points there. But, points for being daring, and hey, more points for being unexpected.

6/10

9. Nike

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One word: placement. It reads like “Just Do NIKE It.”

2/10 – your swoosh looks like crap.

10. I- what?

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I quit.

0/10 – stay in school. Maybe study business.

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